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reality check moment

dear weight loss industry, medical establishment and “well meaning” people –

do you know what 30+ years of hearing “if you just had a little will power”, “all you need to do is exercise more”, “you be so pretty if only you’d…” “maybe you shouldnt eat that piece of cake…” do to a person’s brain? It makes us believe that we are the root of all the fucked up things in our lives and that the ONLY way we can win your love is by “doing better” because its clearly “all our fault”

fuck you.

Glitter – the Ultimate Power Up

The last few weeks have been exhausting and spoon eating.

red plastic utensil broken in half. One end is a spoon, the other is a spork.
Broken spoon, broken spork

The sinus infection I’ve been negotiating with got ahead of me and started to build camp in my lungs. This is generally the point at which I tell it to bugger off through the use of antibiotics. (Since I have a near constant sinus infection and living on antibiotics sounds like the least fun thing ever, I wait until things get worse because otherwise I really will be living on ABs.) Monday the antibiotics started which is great, but draining in its own way.

About two weeks before all of that, my insurance company micro-managed me into a corner that I had been heading towards but wanted to settle into on my own terms and in my own time. *sigh* Namely, one of the medications I’ve been taking for about five years was cut off because I cant take the generic (Seriously nasty side effects for me) and the Insurance co wont pay for the label. The neurologist and I had already decided that medication was going to come out of the “cocktail”, but cold turkey is never fun. At least my dosage was fairly low to begin with. Of course, at the same time this happened, the neurologist upped the dosage of one of my pain meds. Either one of these on their own is enough to make a person a little off kilter. Together? *boom* brain explodes, body hates me and where are my blankey and my cave thank you very much.

While I have managed to get a little bit of work done on the new novel, mostly I’ve been wishing for a vat of really good (non-allergenic to me) chocolate ice cream.

What does all of this have to do with glitter? Well, I’ll tell you – (yes, the snark is in rare form this week) – I have always known glitter was my friend, that is part of why this blog is titled Call Me Glitter. This week I discovered that it serves as an excellent power boost – Power Up for you gamers. I’ve taken to sprinkling a little on before I leave the house to help get me through whatever I need to do. Not only is it fun and pretty, but it really does help. Even if its just a mnemonic of sorts, it helps me to focus on the good and have faith that I can get through my day, one way or another.

I first met glitter when I was three (or five depending on who you believe and what calendar we are using) when I was inserted in to a whole on the stage of a “transvestite review” called “The Angels of Light” being done at Theater for the New City in NY in the early ’70s. I remember very clearly that there was this bucket of glitter on the floor beside the stage and I wanted to play with it so badly! But no one would let me!

It was pretty much down (up?) hill from there. Growing up in the theater and arts world in Greenwich Village in the 70s and 80s meant there was always glitter somewhere and there was always an event going on and I always wanted to be a part of the shiny things! At one point my mother created the “Super Brat Club” complete with brown  t-shirts with those words emblazoned in orange glitter on the front. (the 70s where many things, including painful on the eyes). So, I come by my love of glitter and all things shiny honestly.

There was glitter hair spray, glitter make up, glitter on the desk, glitter on the floor and even so much glitter on the walk way a while back that my husband suggested we get a concrete sealant so we could have the “glitter brick road” leading to our door. (that is still a pending project).

I have glitter clogs:

clog covered in dark pink/purple glitter
Glitter clogs for the 2013 season

SO Much glitter nail polish:

green glitter polished nails.
Five greens and a gold

and even a glitter lispstick – Zuzu’s Uber

glitter lipstick
Zuzu – gluten free lipstick “Uber”

And this morning I finally painted and glittered a shirt that has needed its own kind of power up for a while now: my “Treble maker” t-shirt (hmm, actually its name is “Trying to Sing” and was created by Tobe Fonseca)

photo collage - upper and lower images are of the same dark gray shirt with black raven silhouette holding broken musical notes. Bottom one has added glitter.
Photo Collage – treble maker shirt gets a glitter/glow in the dark power up

Glitter doesn’t change the fact that I have a chronic illness or that today is a bitterly low spoon day, or that I have to go get something done outside the house anyway. Glitter reminds me that there is beauty and joy and silliness in the world, and THAT makes every day a little better.

 

And when all else fails… take a trip and fall into the glitter ….