Processing / Grief

I’ve been exploring ways to process / work with / honor grief and mourning – my brain is kind of all over the map so this is kind of random.

I’m journaling mostly daily. It’s pretty random so I’m been thinking about grief guides or one of those “helpful saying” 365 things to inspire me. but pagan-y. Inspired by the book “Grief One Day at a Time” Mom was gifted, I’ve been looking at books about grief and meditation during/for grief but so many of them are Christian focused, which is lovely for those for whom that resonates. Finding Pagan / earth spirituality focused ones would be really nice – but my google fu is failing. (I did figure out I already own the ebook of Starhawk & Macha Nightmare’s “Pagan book of living and dying” – will be looking at that this weekend) Update: A dear friend gifted me “Grief Day by Day, simple practices and daily guidance for living with loss” which helped her when she was dealing with grief. It’s really lovely.

The flowers my sister sent are fading and I’m pondering getting more? does that even make sense? I got the amaryllis for the house altar where dad’s picture sits. Do I really need more? I mean they’re pretty. does it count as processing? or just shopping?

I saw a website that does self care boxes for people in mourning and was pondering getting one… but the link is borked… and they have scented candles in the thing, so that’s not good. But the ideas are interesting – a pretty journal with coloring pages (hmm is there such a thing as a coloring book for grief? would that be too weird?) and a memory jar… other stuff I’m forgetting. I could do a mason jar for memories… Perseverance has paid off though. I found a different site on Etsy that does grief boxes that are much more in line with what I was looking for. When I emailed the owner, she was happy to modify a box, making it even more lovely for my needs (I think, hope, we shall see?)

I keep pondering the whole Victorian mourning code of colors and clothes – those external signs for people to know this person is mourning… and for the person. Am I still mourning if I’m not wearing all black (A wonderful friend replied “You absolutely are still mourning if you’re not wearing all black.”)? Or all white, since more pagan side tends to go white clothes… but interestingly I’m feeling very drawn to black stuff. I found black faux butterflies with clips and have been randomly clipping them to my jewelry and clothes. I have two on my desk lamp. why does that appeal so much? I mean, sure, butterflies and rebirth through massive change… so… I guess? I made a necklace with gray pearls, jet beads, and black glass. It’s pretty and I know its mourning jewelry, so that’s good, I think.

see… >brain<… all over the map.

A necklace of gray pearls, jet beads, and black glass leaves coiled in a loose circle on a gray, wood-grained surface witha faux black butterfly resting in the center.

Tonight’s meanderings brought to you by Dad’s looming birthday on January 1st… and me being so out of spoons that I’m fighting this process less? maybe? also the soothing sound of rain.

Links for things I mentioned:

Grief One Day at a Time

The Pagan Book of Living and Dying

Mourning Dove Box

Links for other things I’ve been looking at around grief:

8 Tips for Coping With the Death of a Parent

Grieving the Death of a Parent

Healing Your Brain After Loss: How Grief Rewires the Brain

Just Sit (and Other Simple Steps to Meditate Your Way Through Grief)

The Grief Deck

Meditation On Grief – Jack Kornfield

Grief Day by Day: Simple Practices and Daily Guidance for Living with Loss

Navigating Grief and Loss, 25 Buddhist practices to keep your heart open to yourself and others

Healing After Loss

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